In Removing my teeth, Wisdom was lost

Ashley Mack, Reporter

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Twenty minutes. Three professionals. Four bad wisdom teeth. What could go wrong?

You always hear stories about everyone else’s experiences. Things ranging from “It was absolute hell” to “Piece of cake.” Of course, none of these opinions truly matter until you go under the operation yourself. Only the “fortunate” few get this chance.

It was a foggy Friday in November, the day I got my wisdom teeth out. The pinch of the needle that entered my wrist. The cold pad they placed on stomach. The blinding lights that glared above me. These were all signs of what was to come.

However earlier that morning I was too preoccupied to think about what was coming. It is important to know that I am rarely hungry in the morning. Every day I don’t eat until 1:44 p.m.. But of course, after being told that a crucial requirement for the surgery was to not eat until an hour after the removal, I was utterly starving. The hunger subsided though the second I heard the first beep on the heart monitor.

“Bye bye teethy friends,” was the last thought that was able to escape my lips before falling under.

Unable to open my eyes, and as limp as a noodle, all I could depend on was my hearing.

“Come on. Let me help you up. You did great.”

After trying to move my dull, numb mouth to respond, I felt the gauze. Suddenly everything waved over me. Standing up was a struggle. After being walked over to my anticipating mother, my recollection of the next couple hours was limited. Luckily, and I say this with caution mixed in with a quiet level of sarcasm, my mother decided to video the experience.

three Ice cream cups, eight packs of gauze, and a five-hour “Friends” marathon later, the videos were sent. While snickers filled the room, shock filled me. They did a great job with the surgery. Not only were my teeth removed, but the little wisdom that I had left.

After viewing the absurd video, embarrassment built up. It was strange to meet my subconscious. Even stranger, to realize it is a crazy person. There were even threats from my family to send the video to broadcast companies. Watching this delirious version of me made come to one conclusion. It is wrong to deprive the world of such hilarity, so here you go.

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